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May. 23rd, 2006 @ 12:54 am
Journalling is becoming an all to necessary task...paper with pen, this..word. Yeah, everything. Even napkins.

Today was super weird. I talked to a holocaust survivor for a while, and dealt with this dual self thing...Separate..hard to explain, and I'm too wiped to do so.

I'm still in Newark. Leave for Poland tomorrow. I'm excited. I think this trip is going to do a whole bunch more for me than I ever imagined.

May. 22nd, 2006 @ 06:50 pm
Plan for the evening:

Dinner, more Poland program stuff, including listening to Peter, of Peter, Paul and Mary (Puff the Magic Dragon anyone?)...followed by group meeting. After which I will go to the fitness center, do yoga, and then maybe do a little one act research. It's coming along pretty good, I just need some non-fictional components to splice in there.

You can always tell when someone is talking to their s.o. They sound like they're talking to a baby, or that they're about to fall asleep. Whispering sweet nothings and all. And when someone is talking to their parents, they tend to have at least one flare up of annoyance. Not all the time, it's just a feature characteristic of a familial conversation.

So far, I'm really looking forward to the poland trip. It should be fun...

Okey dokey...off to dinner.

May. 22nd, 2006 @ 01:03 am
da;mnit...why do I even bother? it's not like this really improves any situations for me at all, but just makes me really uneasy and unsure about all this stuff. Am I just completely oblivious to what actually happened, jaded by some ridiculous inclanation of..of silliness!?!? god freaking damnit.

95% of Tara is satisfied and happy. I mean, I'm going to Europe for cripes sake. I have nothing to complain about. And rent is paid for all of summer. I have a job. I have all my toes.

5% of me just wants to be able to be all about that other stuff... you know. and life isn't working with me on that yet.

But maybe it is and I'm just neurotic. Yeah, probably.

I just need some extra attention. Right now! This is the little kid version of me talking. And little kid Tara is getting that bright red little triangle I always used to get in between my eyebrows, and wants to throw a little tantrum, and then take a nap, and wake up and have some cookies with milk, in a hammock, in the summer time, then run through a sprinkler, and dump my dogs food on the ground, and play dress up while watching Fiddler on the Roof, singing along to the match maker song. Because that's what I did when I was little, and that feels much more familiar than being in a sketchy hotel in the middle of New Jersey. (but not quite as adventurous)
Current Mood: nervousnervous

Europe: Post 1 May. 21st, 2006 @ 04:37 am
I'm currently sitting at Gate E3, and really enjoying the fact that I have internet access. Right now feels like a good time to write. While technically I'll still be in the states for the next few days, today I embark on my first month of travel in Europe. Yay Europe!

There's a really cute little toddler playing pee-ka-boo (spelling??) with me. Oh, she got distracted by something on the floor. I like how kids are really super cute when you're not working with them/babysitting them. Mind you, I like kids, I've just had my fill for a while in terms of more than just watching them, and thinking, "oh how cute!"

When we got to the airport this morning there was some lady, that sounded like Fran Dresher, screaming at the top of her lungs. Some guy had either ran into her car or her husband with their care, and "drug" it/him for a while. I'm not excatly sure what happened, but it sounded interesting. suddenly I realized that this trip was infact happening, and I got really nervous.

I like nice people at the airport. My bag weighed 37lbs.

I think that's all I have. I just needed to write to get rid of some nerves. Thank god for livejournal...I don't know what I'd do if I had to use an actual piece of paper.

Over and out.

May. 20th, 2006 @ 11:49 pm
I leave in like four hours. Crazy.

Oihlsdkfj....Internet. You are so useful and dangerous.

Basically wrote 9 pages in the last 24 hours. Now i just have to make it good.


I'm feeling anxious and nervous, and I wish I had a day to sleep, and yeah.
And does person A even care right now? Is person B just being too damn selfish? Oh person A and person B...you two are crazy like an animal.

But oh so excited.

That is all.
Other entries
» (No Subject)
Note to self: The only way to survive tomorrow, will be to drink a whole lotta water. And to go to sleep this very second. So that's what I'm going to do.
» hmmmm
Sometimes, my hormones really freaking suck . Damn 5 ovaries. Other times...I deal.
» Number three...
Number three reason for not leaving your computer on the floor:

It's easy to step on.
» (No Subject)
woke up about two hours ago...did reading. Now i need a nap. still ahve to take pictures of garbage cans for my group GPS/GIS project. Blahhhhhh...and watch three movies, but need to review for exam before then..

oh sleepy sleep sleep.

oh world...you're so crazy and weird.
» (No Subject)
I like how i wrote two posts like 4 minutes apart, one that started with "atleast i'm not tired yet" and the other "it's just because I'm tired"...

that a really good indication of something called Tara needs to go to bed.
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